About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
