i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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