She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
