nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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