yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
