Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
