Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
the condom got lost in my hair
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Found your dick twin last night
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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