I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
