i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
