ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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