im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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