i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
