i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize