He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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