He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
