Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
