he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
