dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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