Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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