Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
