Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
