It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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