1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
