He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
