I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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