Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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