i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
