Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
