it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
