Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
