I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
