I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
someone owes me an orgasm
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
