he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
