please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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