she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
