No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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