it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
