THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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