he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
