Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
accomplished twins. life is a go
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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