I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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