woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
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