then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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