true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
