Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
