Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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