i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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