so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
