now i know why i became what i already was.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
