my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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