I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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