i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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