Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
