I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
