well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
