Whod you bang
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we're making bets on your personal life
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
