: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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