...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize