The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
