i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
