You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
areolas are like halos for boobs.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
