We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize