Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
