I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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