do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
